I need help or guidance or suggestions what I do? How I take life in normal way?  Please suggest me in comments How I come out mentally painful pain, broken hurting heart. I haven’t power energy to express anyone what I feel and how I survive everyday. My mental health again not well and it’s bad effects my body there stress and body aches. My mood is not good it’s depressed and sometimes sad, someday I couldn’t weep but yesterday my tears come out from eyes. My whole body brain heart revolving in painful pain. I haven’t any happiness and not Relaxation. I not know how many left times days or years I have to survive for living. I not know why it’s happened with me. Which thing is not in me, which thing is missing in me, where is my fault, why my life is look like. My feelings and emotions are painful and now I write a post very hardly and I know right now I couldn’t express my pain accurately. I feel I’m finishing internally and mentally. Last 5 years and this year I had tried to find good life partner and true love but I failed when I met any educated person they hurt me, my feelings emotions, concerns, care love, respect, importance, attention, value. He just played my life and myself and mentally heartily destroy me, they educated but they were fake, fraud, scammed, all of them intentions was not good. Last 6 years anything happened with me again its killing me mentally again everything recall mentally and heartily. Nothing feels good. Even sometimes feeling look like I not want to talk anyone just live alone and I also not know how I come out this situation, those people enjoy own life but my life has destroyed. I never thought I choose those people for my life they were bad. Relationships not reach marriage because all of them reality and their real faces comes out before marriage settlement. Yesterday I want I talk my any friends but couldn’t do because I think they couldn’t help me. I couldn’t express how much I’m break at this moment.





I did too much good with  family parent and siblings. I did too much good for house but nothing get reward get in life for anything. When I say no to do any work so my mom threatened me that I have nothing for you and I will not give you anything even she said I will not give you meal. She threat me to kick out from house. She do that she said, many times she kicked out from house and not give me meal. Today she said  to me put Sim card in phone and I said put byself then again same threats give me. Now I’m tired to do house work and family parent and siblings work. Now I couldn’t work for anyone. I’m exhausted to do everything for anyone. My life already damage spoiled destroyed my parents and family relatives when I was born more spoiled my life did my parents. My life 32 years are worse.

Sorry and Thanks for patience

Please must read this post

Hi everyone I hope my all following fans are going well. Sorry everyone I couldn’t write and couldn’t post anything on blog because many times I’m not well, I’m too much depression and nothing feels good, depressed, sad, unhappy, unrelax, I’m ill physically by body, I have mental illness major depressive disorder and psychosis sometimes anxiety last 4 and 1/2 years. I have major illness last 17 years that I’m worried that’s irregular periods and hormones problems having PCO,S PCO,S this illness come in front this year 1st February 2018 now doctors want to confirm through blood test. I want to check up completely to know any more illnesses have body so I will contact soon doctor. I have last 17 years dandruff in scalp head hairs and it’s increased and effects my body other parts of skin. This year I contact dermatologist, endocrinologist. This year I have check my eyesight it’s clear there no problem. My body weight is too much gain its 98 kg due to illness so doctors refer me nutrition dietian. This year I take very hard decisions that I give my all artwork that I was made my own website and other social media sites / pages and want to start own artwork business making different stuff, product, but unfortunately my parents are not supporting me and not cooperative with me and not giving me money. So I give my all digital textile design, graphic design and digital abstract painting to a company free of cost. I will soon donate my all handmade paintings in hospital psychiatrist department and some few doctors. Right now I’m not feeling well so I will write soon with more details and post soon my handmade painting and drawing very love, devotion, passion, interests I had made all work but unfortunately I have to give my own work others because I have only this option.

The Friendship Break up 

Nothing feels Good, Grief, Loss, Tears 

Once again in my life a friendship relationship come few days before its  was emotional relationship for me that I realized now and I have attachment with him that I feel now after when I have blocked him from social media Facebook messenger and I blocked him to think on social media people are  not good when he was begging my phone number and I not give him. I weep a lot yesterday till now its tears out of my control and my heart not feeling good. I never see him never listen his voice just it’s was text friendship on messenger. I not know why I miss him and heart says him to unblock him but one side heart say when he see I block him he more anger and he never come back in friendship relationship and may be he not talk to me. Because he not left me alone and I left him alone and now I am alone without his friendship. I couldn’t express clearly myself and pain that inside me.

Mentally and Physically illness, Depression, Grief, Loss… 

Few days before I have joined a group to learn different courses, how to earn online money there group some members have joined me on Facebook messenger and start talking to me about daily routine life and casual and other things like a friend they beg my cellphone number and picture when I not give so they say me I’m narrow minded and complex woman,  they start to talk bad sexual thing that married woman keeps relationships with man for sex. I say change the topic when I contact my friend she is psychologist and my doctor also she says don’t give own pictures and I not give after I leave that group and blocked those persons who talk to me and suddenly again past bad sexual harassment event and that teacher man come in front of my eye by thought and I’m in depression yesterday and I have High blood pressure BP I’m not well mentally upset depressed and sad and feel not good that I did right to block new people or friends? I have inside pain that continuoulsy revolving inside me. I couldn’t express my pain anyone. I’m finishing inside why these people come in my life and I’m weeping bitterly. Nobody heals my recently friendships pain. I feel just like I lost a friend. I feel he is my good friend. I not know when he see I blocked him from messenger how’s he react of my act.