I did too much good with family parent and siblings. I did too much good for house but nothing get reward get in life for anything. When I say no to do any work so my mom threatened me that I have nothing for you and I will not give you anything even she said I will not give you meal. She threat me to kick out from house. She do that she said, many times she kicked out from house and not give me meal. Today she said to me put Sim card in phone and I said put byself then again same threats give me. Now I’m tired to do house work and family parent and siblings work. Now I couldn’t work for anyone. I’m exhausted to do everything for anyone. My life already damage spoiled destroyed my parents and family relatives when I was born more spoiled my life did my parents. My life 32 years are worse.
When I was born period till now my parents and family and relatives did bad with me. I want to go and live Canada but they always create hurdles in my life and education and always did tease me and taunt me and beat me too much They chase my freedom of life and they give all own children meant my siblings in life. I will learn to forgive parents and family and relatives and siblings even though they always disrespect me and taunt me and tease me and do bad with me.
Today, I am grateful for the following things:
1. My Nanny. I am grateful for the memory I have of my Nanny. She was a strong woman who was very supportive of family. She was inspirational and I miss her terribly.
2. My friends. My friends have been very supportive of me during my MH struggles. They listen to me when I need them to listen, and they offer advice when I need advice. I am so very grateful for their support.
3. Teaching. I love to teach.
My little sister is 21 years old. She hits me too much. When she is angry, she is hyper-aggressive and she beats me physically like a cruel man. It’s like a movie where I’m in prison and she’s the violent guard. But is is hard because my sister is a special child. While she is 21, her mind is that of a 4 year old. She has the temper tantrums of a child and the strength of an adult.
She was like that today. She was violent throughout the whole day. It felt like every second she was hitting me. She does this in front of my family and no-one stops her. My other siblings encourage her. They tell her she is doing a good job, and watch when she beats me. Every day. Every day she punches me, slaps me, pulls my hair, beats my whole body. When not beating me she is throwing and destroying my things.
I’m tired. I’m tired of the abuse. I want to flee this life, flee this home. I want to stop feeling this pain. I want the abuse to stop. I want to live a normal life.
It is hard, because when her tantrum ends, when she cools down, then she loves me and hugs me. Then I want to show her I love her also.
She is a child in an adult body.
It is hard.
She pulls my hair
She pulls my hair
She kicks me
She slaps my face and body.
I love her and care for her
Why does she beat me?
No one knows
I weep a lot and cry
Because I am in pain
She hurts me
Please stop domestic violence.
My nanny was a strong women .She was look like a angel She hide own children in their wings.She did loved every children.She cooked very delicious dishes.She made things by own hand like sweater and staler mats and much by using knitting.Me and my nanny was both attached to each other.I lost my nanny in 2014 then i was in grief because i lost my life my love that I was shared each and every thing of my life.She did guide me in each step and i followed her.but after lost her I could not complete her wish that was marry because i was not interested in marry she wants i settled in my new married life.
She did love me too much .She teach me house keeping.She guide me how to serve guests eatables things and she advice me how I live in life.No one take place of my Nanny in my heart.My nanny always in my mind and memory she helped me by financial matters.She full filled my all wishes and she protect me when I was child. I did spend many years with nanny.I kept my Nanny memories that she give me by a gift.now she live in heaven.I do pray for her regularly.i could not express what I feel for my Nanny. because she was my life.I talked my life daily and now i miss her each moment.its a big lost our family that we lost our Nanny.
when she was alive and far away from then she also miss me too much and talked everyone of mine that how much she loved me her wish was my marry and any possibility I can come with there.but its not happened I could not complete her wish was marry because I was not interested in marry. nanny was known.I wish right now she with me and my life is wonderful and happily. I weep sometime because u not with me and u live in heaven I miss u so much i wish u a live and then with me. I want to say my Nanny u have gone far away from my sight but u will never gone my heart I could not see Ur face but Ur sweet smile is always with me I could not hear Ur voice but Ur echo is in my soul I love u so much i could not tell how much.I remember each moment that I spend with u.its unforgettable.